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  • Originally when I started this blog, I wanted it to be about fashion. However, I quickly realised that I had nothing to offer as far as fashion was concerned. At least that is what it felt like. I didn’t get dressed most days in anything but gym leggings or lounge clothes and the days that I plucked up the courage to take a teeny tiny Allegra out would be the days that I would have the biggest melt down, because I had nothing to wear. Yes, I had a wardrobe full of clothes, but I had nothing to wear. Nothing that made me feel good or confident. I look back at that time now and still try to understand who I was and how I was feeling. The point is, I didn’t know who I was back then, because I had just become a mum for the first time, I didn’t know what my style was and how I wanted to look or feel in clothes. It really has been a journey of discovery and it has taken me some time and admittedly some money to figure out my style. Money, because I have panic shopped so frequently and bought so many items that I like only for a very short while and time, because I really do believe you have to spend some time settling in your new life as a mum to really understand the clothes that you need to make you look and feel good.

    My approach to fashion now is all about comfort, how much I will get out of an outfit, it’s versatility and suitability for multiple occasions and whether I have items in my wardrobe to compliment said item already. I don’t have the time to shop for items that will hang in my wardrobe till I get the right top or the right bag and it’s just not savvy way to shop. I generally tend to shop for occasions, like weddings, birthdays and special nights out with the girls or anniversary celebrations with Christian. I do this because I don’t feel like I particularly need clothes for my day to day life. I am pretty much covered with the basics, I have jeans, shirts and blouses, slogan tees, a good selection of shoes and handbags and lots of jackets and blazers from Zara that can all be mixed and matched to effortlessly create both casual and dressed up looks. I can easily wear the same shirt and top to go shopping in with a pair of trainers and a slouchy blazer for drinks in the evening with a pair of heels and my Zara cape/blazer and a leopard print clutch. I can wear the same dress to a wedding with strappy heels and a clutch that I would to go out for lunch with the girls with boots and a leather biker jacket. It means that I might not be massively dressed up for a wedding but that I still have an item in my wardrobe that won’t hang there till the next wedding. This way of dressing works for me right now as I don’t feel like being particularly dressed up makes me feel comfortable anyhow.

    I used to be very much so a statement dresser and the items that I would buy I could only wear a handful of times because they were so-in-your-face and look-at-me. Maybe I don’t have that kind of confidence since becoming a mum or maybe it’s just not about me in that way. If you follow me on Insta Stories you will know that I am currently doing a fifteen day workout challenge with a personal trainer and it is safe to say that my fitness journey has begun, which I will write about in another post. Who knows if once I start to see some results I like if my approach to the way I dress might change. But for now, with the weight that I have gained from general motherhood and the new body shape I have acquired, that is no doubt from pregnancy, I have still managed to find some confidence in my clothes and an understanding of my style and because I am an image conscious person, it makes me feel proud of myself that I never threw the towel in. I just took my time to discover my style. I say this loads on Instagram, but comfort and confidence is key.

    I just wanted to end this blog on this note…I know I champion shopping and styling what you already have in your wardrobe and buying slowly so you can understand your style. But I will also say, if you’ve just had a baby, have gained some weight and are struggling to find the time or the strength to lose the weight and the clothes in your wardrobe don’t fit, don’t deprive yourself of new clothes as an incentive to lose the weight. You shouldn’t punish or make yourself feel bad for that weight. Having a baby is the best reason to put on weight and if you feel awful in the clothes that you have, because they don’t fit you anymore or because you no longer like them, buy new clothes that make you feel good. It’s the least you can do for yourself and your body. If money is tight, because it can be on maternity leave and with a new mouth to feed, sell the shit that doesn’t fit. It’s ruthless, but it will help you discover your style and will allow you to have the clothes in your wardrobe that makes you feel great.

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    2 Comments

    1. October 29, 2018 / 7:27 am

      Great post! I’m here to get some styling tips, I’m fed up of buying clothes because they will cover certain parts I want to dress with a bit of intention. I’m 35 and have never had a style. I love your last bit about not punishing yourself and waiting to buy clothes it’s so right.

    2. Ayesha Amato
      Author
      November 16, 2018 / 10:54 am

      Glad you enjoyed it Hun. I know exactly what you mean about dressing with intention and not trying to hide yourself away. It’s all about feeling good about ourselves and doing what we need to to get to that point. I so often forget to do the things that really make me feel good. Sometimes it’s OK if that’s new clothes, especially of the ones we have are making us feel bad about ourselves x

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